


Ineffable One-Shots

by Anonymous



Category: Good Omens, Good Omens (TV), Ineffable Bureaucracy - Fandom
Genre: Anal Fingering, Beelzebub Has a Vulva (Good Omens), Blood, Boobjobs, Bottom Warlock Dowling, Creampie, Cunnilingus, Dominating, Gabriel Has a Penis (Good Omens), Knifeplay, Multi, Period Kink, Smut, Spanking, They/Them Pronouns for Beelzebub, Titfucking, Titjobs, Top Adam Young, Watersports, one shots?, pussy eating, top Beelzebub
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-16
Updated: 2020-01-16
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:14:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22274659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Just some smutty one shots.
Relationships: Adam Young/Warlock Dowling, Beelzebub/Gabriel, Gabriel/Beelzebub, Ineffable Bureacracy, Nanny Ashtoreth/Brother Francis
Kudos: 46
Collections: Anonymous





	1. I Want More (Gabriel/Beelzebub)

**Author's Note:**

> unbeta’d

Gabriel couldn’t get enough of Beelzebub. He couldn’t get of Beelzebub or their pussy. Every “important meeting with powers of hell to discuss what to do next” was just a euphemism for “I like it when Beelzebub rides my face”. And how Gabriel loved having Beelzebub ride his face.

How they would grind down and moan as Gabriel grabbed their hips hard enough to bruise. He loved playing with their pink cunt and teasing their clit with his tongue. He loved how when they would reach their peak, their clit would stutter and they’d cream so hard that he felt he could drown. They’d do it so many times that when the two were done, Gabriel would be soaked in his shirt up to his hair. 

And how — for lack of a better word — divine it felt with them going up and down on his cock. They would grind down, bounce, and spin likely a majestic ballerina all on his cock. Their large breasts would bounce as they moaned and creamed. If he was lucky, Gabriel would catch one in his mouth. 

Today, Beelzebub seemed a bit more sheepish. Gabriel noticed so he took it a bit slower than usual. Every time, Gabriel would book a hotel room at the same hotel with the same room (if he was that lucky) and make love to Beelzebub and their cherry for hours on end. 

He always started with pleasantries then loving kissing. Well into their loving kissing, when tongues were exploring, he would reach in their shirt and grope them. He squeezed their tits nice and firm, rubbing his thumb until their nipples were hard. Beelzebub would then move their kisses to his neck and start sucking and biting, leaving marks.

They did all that this time, but instead of moaning and grinding when being groped, Beelzebub winced. They pushed away a bit.

Gabriel frowned in return. “You okay?”

They nodded. They kissed him wetly. “Fuck my tits, Gabriel.”

Gabriel didn’t have to be told twice. He ripped their shirt off, making out with their chest. He bit and sucked as the Prince of Hell slapped his head and pulled his hair. 

Gabriel quickly got out his cock, lubing it up with his spit, letting his lover watch with hungry eyes. He pulled Beelzebub down slightly so they were bent over him — as they, like Lilith, refused to be on the bottom — and smushed their tits around his fat cock. He teased their pink nipples for a hot moment before thrusting his hips.

Beelzebub grabbed the sides of their breasts, smushing them together to create friction. Gabriel moaned as their tits acted a hole, and it was heavenly. A wide smile cracked on their face as their clit became uncomfortably hard. 

Beelzebub brought a finger up to their mouth, sucking them and spitting on them. When they finished, they brought them both to Gabriel’s tight asshole. Without warning, both fingers breached the tight ring of muscle. 

Gabriel’s hips stuttered and he stopped for a moment, speechless. “B-“ he coughed. “Beelzebub!” 

“It’z juzst a few fingerz,” they teased. “You’re juzst a puzzy!”

Gabriel pulled away from them, giving a sharp gasp when the fingers left him. “Let me just fuck your pussy.”

Beelzebub paused for a moment. Gabriel took this opportunity to start undressing them, grabbing their cunt firm through their underwear. However, instead of the usual inviting wetness, it was dry. 

“Wh-?”

“Gabriel.” Beelzebub grabbed his wrist. “I’m bleeding from my vagina.”

Gabriel was stunned. “You’re... what?”

“My vagina is bloodier than the American Zivil War, you dunze. You want me to give you good puzzy, well thiz iz the prizze.”

“Can I see..?” he asked as his fingers slid past the waistband and pulled them down. 

Beelzebub spread their legs wide to give him the good look at the tampon pushed inside of them. Gabriel tapped it in confusion.

“That keeps all the blood in so I won’t bleed on myself.”

“Can I remove it?” He asked almost sheepishly. 

Beelzebub didn’t know why in the fuck he would want to, but still they just nodded.

Gabriel grabbed the string with two fingers and plucked it out, looking at the red-stained object. He stared at it, seeming almost interested. He then took two fingers to separate their lips to get a better look inside their hole.

Beelzebub just perched there, their legs spread wide and their breasts out free. Then Gabriel did something they couldn’t imagine. He licked a deep ways into their pussy, pushing his face against the battlefield.

Beelzebub’s breath hitched and they gasped slightly. Why did Gabriel care so much for their fucking period blood? At this point, they didn’t care because he was fingering them and playing with their clit.

They pushed down on his face, grabbing a fistful of his hair to push him deeper. Gabriel was extremely content and turned on. Their cunt usually tasted so sweet, but the blood added something extra... something salty and iron-y. Gabriel wouldn’t complain if this was the only thing he had to eat for the rest of his life. 

And the way Beelzebub gasped in surprise at how much he loved their bloody cunt was glorious. Their thighs shook and they grabbed desperate fistfuls of his hair. They scratched his back, adding more blood to the bedroom. It was so hot.

Gabriel sucked and swallowed, feeling strings of blood and uterine lining go down his throat. It was so delicious and soft. He needed more and more. 

Soon, Beelzebub came on Gabriel’s face. Their white, creamy cum mixed with their deep red period blood and made a pretty pink slimey coating for Gabriel to wear. It coated his face, including dripping off his eyelashes. 

Beelzebub inhaled and exhaled deeply, trying to regain their strength after the orgasm. It was so delightful, the feeling. And when they looked down, seeing Gabriel, the image made their nipples hard. 

“Gabriel...” They gasped softly. “God, can we do it again?”


	2. You Can’t Do This Anymore (Adam/Warlock)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam finally gets back at Warlock.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> unbeta’ed. heavy non-con & watersports. they’re both 16 in this fic dw!

Adam had always noticed Warlock. Adam had always hated Warlock, too. That rich spoiled little American fuck was rude and couldn’t keep his mouth closed. Adam wondered what he did to be stuck in this secondary school with this bastard. 

Adam asked his teacher to use the restroom and he walked in, pass in hand. However, he started coughing. There was strawberry-scented smoke filling the room and Warlock was leaning against the wall, something in his mouth. That wanker was juuling!

Adam walked up to him. “Those can kill you, you know.”

“How do you know?” Warlock scoffed. 

“I saw it on the news.”

“Fake news.”

Adam rolled his eyes. He reached forward and much to Warlock’s dismay, he plucked it from his fingers. He moved quickly to a stall, dropped it in the toilet and flushed. 

“Hey! What the fuck!” Warlock groaned. “What is wrong with you?!”

Adam grimaced, pushing Warlock against the stone wall. He gripped his wrists, pinning them. “I am sick and tired of you! Acting like you own this school! You’re not even from here!”

Warlock squirmed. “Get-“ he grunted. “Get off of me!”

Adam leaned forward. He breathed on his neck. “You need to be put in your place,” he growled. 

Warlock whined, squirming more. Adam stopped the moving by pushing their hips together and beginning to grind.

Warlock gasped, letting out pitiful noises. “Oh my god! Adam, you faggot, let me go!”

Adam bit down on Warlock’s neck, drawing blood. The American boy teared up. “Stop! That hurts!” his voice cracked.

Adam pulled him off of the wall, bending him over the sinks. “Why should I stop?! You think you own everything and you don’t!” 

He pulled off Warlocks pants, rubbing his hands all over his bubble butt, slapping it. “Your ass is so pretty. Anyone else seen this?”

Warlock’s face was red with tears as he shook his head. “No... Adam, please, I’m sorry.”

“You’re not sorry!” he grabbed his hips. “You’re only sorry because you’re being punished!”

Adam undid his jeans, hearing Warlock whimper as he heard the zipper. The boy standing above him held his thick cock in his hand, slapping the head against the blooming hole. “I bet you’re so tight.”

Warlock sniffled. “Please...”

Adam grabbed a fistful of Warlock’s long hair, pulling him down on his knees. He looked up at Adam, trying to ignore the cock in his face. “Adam, I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.”

“No, you’re not!” Adam growled. He held his cock, slapping it on his cheek. Soon, a lightbulb went off in his head and his face lit up. Warlock shifted on his knees, a deep sob coming out of his throat.

“Open your mouth.”

“Adam-“

“Open your mouth!”

Warlock widened his pretty pink lips, showing Adam his expensive, white teeth. 

Adam’s cock twitched in his hands as he let himself loosen. A stream of yellow piss flowed out of him and onto Warlock. It splashed into his mouth, onto face, and soaked his hair. It mixed with his tears. 

Adam relieved himself all over Warlock, soaking his upper-half. When he was done, he grabbed Warlock’s chin, shutting his jaw closed and tilting his head back. He started swallowing the warm liquid. 

Adam finally stepped away, zipping his pants up again. He grabbed his pass from off the counter. “Go to class, Warlock.” He then turned around and walked away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I take suggestions!


	3. Oh, Naughty Boy (Ashtoreth/Francis)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brother Francis has been very naughty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> unbeta’ed

Nanny Ashtoreth. What a beautiful woman. Her petite body wrapped up in the most conservative clothing yet she still managed to be the sexiest woman alive in her dark red lipstick and lace stockings. Brother Francis couldn’t get enough of her.

He would often admire her from afar. He talked to her every once in a while but never more than once a day. They lived in separate parts of the house and would hardly ever cross paths. 

Still, this didn’t stop Brother Francis from imagining intimacy with her. He was almost ashamed of it, as they were strangers and Ashtoreth was a very conservative woman. Still, that didn’t stop him imagining her naked or in some tasteful lingerie, teasing him with her skinny hips and small cunt.

Late one night, Brother Francis was sitting in his part of the house at a nice, small wooden table, reading a dusty, old book. It was a Virginia Wolfe book and he was so wrapped up in it that he almost didn’t notice the clicking of heels. Almost. He looked up and saw her. Miss Ashtoreth in her usual conservative outfit completed with a few bows. 

“Francis,” she said in her low, simple voice. “Would you like to share this with me?” She held up a bottle of wine, giving him a smile. 

The gardener’s face lit up. “Oh! Yes, of course, uh-?”

“The name’s Caroline.” She sat the bottle of wine down on the table. She reached into her purse and pulled out two glasses.

His eyes widened. “Gosh, Caroline.”

She laughed softly. “Yes, I know. Taking care of a child requires some day-drinking.”

Francis frowned as Caroline poured them both glasses. “I bought their deepest red.”

Francis picked it up, sniffing it softly then giving it a sip. “Mmh! Nice!”

Caroline laughed softly, sipping slowly. “So...”

He looked up. “So?”

“I’ve seen you watching me,” she started lowly.

Francis froze, looking at her wide-eyed. “Oh, Caroline—“

“No-no,” she hushed. “It’s okay. I don’t mind.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really. You don’t have to be afraid. You can flirt with me.”

“Oh-“ He blushed. “Oh. I don’t know if I can-“

She let out a chuckle. “Oh, my dear. Shy are we? That’s okay.”

Francis laughed nervously in return. “I’m sorry. Haven’t been with a woman in a while.”

Caroline nodded. “I haven’t been with a man in a while. I’ve been only women lately, really.”

Francis’ eyebrows shot up. “Oh, bisexual are we?”

Caroline laughed again, finishing her wine. “Yes, I suppose you could say it like that.”

“You suppose?”

“I’ve never liked labels. I am who I am.”

“That’s commendable.”

She nodded, scooting closer to him. “Would you like another glass or...” She put her hands on his thighs, leaning forward. 

“Oh, dear, Caroline...” He put a hand on her cheek. “You are a very sexy woman.”

“Is there a ‘but’ coming?”

Francis just shook his head. “I suppose not.”

“Can I kiss you now, you silly gardener?”

Francis didn’t answer in words, just in a gentle kiss. The kiss was soon turned rougher and wetter by the nanny’s lust. She moved into his lap.

“Should we move to the bedroom or do you like having sex in chairs?”

Francis heated up. “Yes, uh, right. Yes, my room. It’s a twin bed, there’s not much room-“

“My dear, it’s not like we won’t be on top of each other all night.”

He nodded and got up, picking the slender woman with him. He carried her to the bedroom and laid her down on the bed, admiring how her curls fell around beside her head.

Caroline sat up, pulling Francis down to kiss him. She scrambled to pull his shirt off then her own. He was blushing, as he didn’t see himself as someone too desirable physically. Hell, but Caroline’s body was perfect. He reached forward to cup his hands over her perky breasts through her black bra.

She pulled his hands away. “Oh, naughty Brother Francis. Touching your Nanny’s bossoms like that.” She tutted.

Francis looked embarrassed. “Oh, I-“

She stood up, smirking. “Seems like I should punish you.” She reached down, undoing his trousers. “Be a dear and take them off.”

Francis was a bit confused but all the way horny. He stood up, pulling off his trousers.

“Pants, too. I need to see that nice bum.”

Francis became red, but followed along. His half hard cock was finally free against the cold air.

Caroline sat down. “Bend over my lap.” 

And with the gardener following her every order, she rubbed his rump. “How nice. So fat and squeezable.” And with that, she swatted him hard on the left asscheek.

He gasped and whimpered. He squirmed and turned to look at her. 

She smirked, giving him a look of arousal and playfulness. “Tell my you touched me like that, you naughty boy.”

Francis hung his head. “You... you have really nice breasts.”

She smacked his right buttock twice. “So you think you could just put your hands on me?” She kept swatting him, voice calm.

Francis squirmed, whining and whimpering. “I’m sorry, Miss Ashtoreth—“

She kept beating on his white bottom until it was sore and red and he was producing tears like a faucet. “I’m sorry!” he pleaded.

Caroline finally stopped, letting him sit up. She kissed away his tears. “How good you are. You need some pussy for a treat, don’t you?”

Francis’ face lit up, smiling at her. “Yes, ma’am.”


	4. Cut Me, Bitch (Gabriel/Beelzebub)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beelzebub brings a knife into bed. (TW - Blood, Light Genital Mutilation)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> unbeta’ed

“Cut me harder, little bitch!”

Right now, Gabriel the Archangel had his cock deep inside Beelzebub’s, Lord of the Flies, Prince of Hell, sweet pink pussy. This was normal for them, as Gabriel, who wanted to be the purest form of angel had dirty thoughts constantly and Beelzebub loved having sex. It was a win-win for them both. 

However now, Beelzebub had done something different. They had handed their angel a blade. It was a gorgeous blade, silver and sharp, well crafted. But what Beelzebub wanted him to do with it threw Gabriel in a tizzy.

“I want you to cut me.”

“Beelzebub, I’m not cutting you,” Gabriel had said sternly. And he insisted. At first.

He gave in finally, as he was balls deep and hitting it from behind. He picked up the knife, Beelzebub begging for more pain than just being slapped or having their hair pulled. He gently drew the blade across their shoulder blades, only making a scraping noise, but no blood. 

“Cut me, I zaid! Hurt me you puzzy Angel!”

Gabriel inhaled deeply, digging the knife deeper around the swell of their ass, leaving a nice cut in the muscle. He felt so bad as they tensed up, but they let out a satisfied hiss. 

“Are you okay, Beelzebub?”

“I’m fine-“ they growled, grinding down on him. “Flip me over, cut my tits-“

Gabriel did as told, flipping them over while still inside. He leaned down to kiss them, letting them run their hands all over his muscled body. 

He grabs the knife steady and runs a red line under their right breast. They throw their head back, smiling. “Fuck- fuck yes-“

Gabriel smiled, gaining some confidence. He did another cut up from the base to the nipple of their left one. 

Beelzebub scratched at his back, sucking on his neck and biting. They pulled away. “Fuck, I’m about to cum on you-“

Gabriel began thrusting again as he ran the knife unsteadily down their stomach. Some parts were deeper than others— some didn’t even bleed. But Beelzebub didn’t care because an orgasm was ripping through them. They gasped and moaned loudly, feeling Gabriel fill their cunt with cum.

Beelzebub was finished with the high when Gabriel was, too. They were both breathing so heavily. 

“Gabriel,” they laughed. “You’re good at this.”

**Author's Note:**

> i take suggestions!


End file.
